Tearing People Down Is For Assholes

It seems that whenever a female rises up, there is a group of extremist dicks who bring them down under the guise of feminism or multiculturalism.

Let me explain using the example of Lena Dunham because I'm so very tired of the anti-Lena Dunham crowd.

The first big hoopla surrounding Lena was attached to the lack of diversity in the show Girls. Where were the black people? The Asians? Why were there no actual poor people on the show? How could this attempt to speak about the Millennial generation if the show was so narrow in scope. Lena, to her amazing credit, gave the perfect response. She never set out to speak for a generation, this show was about what she knew: white, upper-middle class, east coast, liberal-educated, twenty-something girls in New York. Trying to write about the minority experience of the same age goup could have appeared forced, outside the aim of her show, and to an extent condescending. Let's have the wealthy white girl explain life as a minority for the HBO crowd? That sounds like a great idea!

The second big hoopla had to do with Lena's body.  It makes me extremely sad that this type of story still exists. Lena appears naked (at least on top) in a number of the episodes. Her body is normal, it's beautiful, it's got amazing tattoos, and it's been criticized for being too available for our gaze.  Which really means--it's not a supermodel body and so it's a big deal. I'm pretty sure, like 95% sure, Deadwood and Game of Thrones have shown way more boobage than Girls ever has.  Kudos to Dunham for 1) not cow towing to the critics, and 2) possibly even amping it up. And don't get me started about how sex and nakedness is so taboo in US media and entertainment, but gruesome violence is A-OK.

The third hoopla had nothing to do with the show Girls.  Instead, it had to do with a photo shoot that Lena did with Vogue. After the Vogue photo went public, the 'feminist' online magazine Jezebel questioned whether the photo had been photoshopped, they asked for the untouched photo from their fans, and they received. The answer to whether the photo was photoshopped was: not much. A little thining of the chin and the shoulders, that was generally it. But Jezebel ran with the story anyhow in an attempt to bring down 'sexist magazine shoots' more generally. Lena could have been retouched! Well, Lena was unimpressed with the critics, and so was I.

"What you're doing is important." -Louis C.K. to Lena Dunham at the 2012 Grammy's. I agree.

Now, there are stories where I agree that magazine covers are sending an awful message.  A few months back there were four alternative covers for Elle Magazine.  Three were full body pics of white women and the pics were in color.  The one minority who wasn't anorexic, Mindy Kaling, got a black and white headshot.  Whether purposeful or not, these are bad numbers and disappointing. Mindy herself was more hurt at being differentiated by the critics than at the results of the Elle cover. She was just excited about her first magazine cover and one that celebrated women in TV at that. Though, I think she missed the point of the critique, which was that women want to see normal bodies celebrated as beautiful. We connect with Mindy because she seems like an awesome normal girl. Mindy's fans see her like we see ourselves. She's a size 12-ish (the average size of an American woman) she's geeky, and smart, and quirky. If Mindy didn't get the same Elle cover as the other super skinny Hollywood gals, than neither would we. Overall, photoshop can be an abused tool that negatively affects women's self-esteem. As feminists, however, it's important that we keep our outrage for the important stuff instead of crying wolf and bringing down the women we want to celebrate. Women, in this case, that are making a name for themselves in the male driven field of TV showrunning.     

Which brings me to a related point, I'm tired of Jezebel. I see this online magazine as another commercial entity that profits from clicks on faux feminist stories. Full disclosure: I've never liked Jezebel.  I've always found its stories over-sensationalized and over-dramatic to the detriment of being thoughtful and progressive. Maybe when it began it was a safe place for the discussion of women's issues, but in the last six or so years, I've generally seen it as a source of articles that profit from headlines that are able to get people riled up.

Jezebel really lost me back when it attacked Tina Fey for not being feminist enough. An attack that thankfully led to one of the funniest episodes on 30 Rock.  The article suggested that Fey made jokes that were unhelpful to women's causes, such as jokes about women who get bitchy when they pms--which, for the record, is basically all women and is another pet peeve of mine. The logic goes like this: let's pretend pms doesn't happen because if we pretend this thing doesn't exist then men can't blame our strong opinions or anger on pms. UGH.  Let's be honest sometimes women are douchebags when it's that time of the month. That's ok. It's natural and it doesn't detract from anything else about our feelings and opinions. At least sometimes we have that excuse for being dicks and can apologize later, what do men have when they're fuckheads? Not that they're known for ever apologizing. Right, men?

Ok, ok, back to Jezebel and Tina Fey. Tina took aim at Jezebel's habit of hacking at women in power through her comedy and in doing so proved again that what makes a feminist is not someone who can critique another woman's quality from behind a computer keyboard, but rather is someone who goes out everyday and works hard doing something she loves. Someone who is proud of the opinions she has and proud of who she is. A feminist doesn't bow down to anyone, male or female, who tries to bring them down after they've fought to get where they are.

Look, it's ok to critique women in power because it's ok to critique anyone in power, or anyone at all for that matter. But before doing so, take a step back, think about what you're trying to achieve, and ask yourself whether you're really getting at that goal or whether you're tearing someone good down just in the name of trying to pull someone else up. Or even whether you're tearing them down because it's easier than finding a real story about inequality and sexism. Might I suggest Afghanistan for a start?